Memoirs of my boulevard

In the depths of a heart that beats for another, I dwell in shadows of a love unreturned, Every hour a whisper of what could never be, A fleeting dream shattered by reality's stern decree. Each glance, each touch, a bittersweet dance, A blessing wrapped in the anguish of chance, Fueling flames of hope, a cruel paradox, Kindling warmth, yet leaving scars that mock.

Chaos inside I am everywhere and nowhere. I am limitless yet tethered I am willingly losing control but the fear balances on my edge… I cannot lose control, again, and the confusion makes me afraid. You asked me how I was doing. Immediately my throat caught and my eyes watered. I felt lonely. I was here filling a void in your transition I felt lost. But I didn't dare steal your happiness. Because that's what I thought you were; happy without me. I felt weak. I felt strange without anyone to talk to, so I talked to myself and bottled up my feelings. You didn't listen anymore, or you pretended to and I felt the pretense But I didn't dare to try to attract your attention. Because I knew that you wouldn't notice. So I blinked back the tears. "I'm fine."

I have been here before. It smelt like roses crying red tears I have been here before, The sky is grey as it was in the morning... I have been here before. Standing in the same spot and in the same rain I have been here before, No longer can tell if it's just rain, piss or tears And yet all I know is......I have been here...