Memoirs of my boulevard

I wake, work, eat, sleep, and dream you. This emotional journey before us - almost too much to bear sometimes. Yet, every time I hear the ringing of the phone, or see your name pop up online, I know that I am addicted to you. But it is far more than that, and please listen very closely. I am a very reasonable and sane person, not given to idle whims or fancies, not taken in any more by false hopes and promises. Yet, somehow, you are different - very different. I don't know what happened, or how or why, but I feel as though I fell out of a cloud, tumbling down to earth to a sure death - and at the last possible second, you caught me in your arms. Yes, I am addicted to you, but I know the consequences of addictions, and, fear not, I will not harm you or cause you pain in any way. Of that, I give you my humble word. I want to breathe you, to feel you, to taste you, and to hear your soft whispers against the sensitive nape of my neck - telling me that you're addicted, too. I wake, ...

Do I decide...decide that that was the last time? The last time I'd watch you walk away-- and be determined to follow or to at least know why? Can I call that the last time? Can I give up now? Do I give up now? Do I tell my heart it's time to move on? Perhaps now these 9 months can teach me something I never learned in school... That love is not always a happy thing? But does that mean I can move on? Can I give up now? Should I give up now? I watched you walk away again... You think I won't give up...so you just ignore me... So do I give up now, if you never would believe that I had? Do I give up now, and lose something I never had? Do I give up now--or can I continue to hope and to dream? ...Though hoping and dreaming are useless things... Do I give up on you now? And on my heart? Do I give up on you now? Can I give up on you now? ... ... ... ... ... ... I should... ......... But I don't know if I can..

He walked right past me Emanating fierce coldness Pausing, he was poised on the threshold of fierce indifference But he overcame it And carried on carrying on Tears glistened on my face My heart snapped reluctantly in two He perched on her desk Her plastic mask fooled him completely Flaunting a contemptible mountain of nonsense She wormed her way into the gaping hole Where his heart should have been I ceased to exist in their narrow spectrum of falsity They paid me no mind as my blood raged The audacity shocked me - hurt me Fists clenched, adrenaline surged through my frozen veins Something was stirring within me A deep hatred had taken root, its seed spread relentlessly A flashback of all the pain he had put me through And all the things that seemed okay, through the abuse The thought of turning my back on it all Trusting again, believing that my heart could find a haven To tread again on a field bare footed Tears of blood glistened on my heart She tried carryin...

It seems like only yesterday Our lives were just beginning. Your love for me never failed, Our hearts continually mending. It is strange to watch the time fly Before my very eyes, Which reminds me of the blessing, That i have you in my life. To have yet to feel the touch That's as gentle as your hand Our bond that strengthens each day As my life continues to change, Reflections of your love remains in me You have pointed out the path And led me along the way; The wisdom you have planted, I hold it dearly You sheltered me through childhood And saw me through today, Taught me of the Lord above, About faith, and how to pray. One day we'll all be in heaven Dancing on the throne, Praising God for giving me A family like we've never known. No matter where my life may go, I will trust the Lord above And through it all always thank him for my grandparents' love.

I keep looking for comfort from you I sit and wonder if your love is true You see me crying Inside you have to know I'm dying Don't you see these tears Don't you see the hurt from so many years The little girl that was hurt so bad Is now 26 years old and utterly sad No one to listen or even to talk to Recalling memories that hurt me through and through The things you ask of me It triggers a memory Memories I'd rather forget Memories embedded in my mind, completely set The hurt, the pain and anger won't go away I wonder who "loves me" and will turn their back today I can't explain how I feel inside Feelings of abandonment rush in like the tide Ghosts haunt me no matter where I go I do love you still, that you should know I wish you could understand I would be there holding your hand I would take away all your pain So in the end, you'd have a life to gain But for me, darkness is all I see No happiness for this little girl is to be The adult lives her...

i have never felt at peace before, how can something wrong be good. You have the amazing heart. the soft tough of a fairy tale . it feels like christmas in july, its like the sun shining at mid night how can that be true, dancing in the brisk of the air the things that are wrong from both ends we are trapped in the tunnel of morality all i see is the love in your eyes I want to stay away and appear aloof, It's quite obvious for all to see We're all victims in this heartache A foundation of pebbles and dust You are like the fruit thats forbidden thats why my heart is trapped in the quick sand for once in my life does something wrong feels right for how long will this last... how long will you be here before reality dawns perhaps wrong is the societal definition... i cant help but to think how this can just be an episode that episode we will soon forget, because it was too good...

The morning I danced in ashes Smothering pieces spilled like wine The sun setting a second time Got me thinkin' about it all The dinner we ate our hearts Like hungry wolves bled our tongues And stared quietly at the fire Laughing all through the night Lived up to be this lie A mask of the truth With a smirk for a mouth Breathing seductive air I had hoped for this To be a different truth I had hoped for this Not to be a lie The ceiling cries with light Golden tears flying high Shadows crawling down below Have my feet move out the door The ghosts on the wall Stare back with questioned looks When I know they are mirrors Of a deceitful love When the dawn breaks free From under my sheets Empty of your warmth Let me turn around to the past The taste of bitterness Mixed with sweet sugar Heavy on my lips Leaving a trail of your perfume