The tears of belonging nowhere...

Your lips on my neck, chest tightening
Your fingertips tracing every curve of my thigh
Short breaths in my ear as you gently nip the lobe
And your fingers fit perfectly between the spaces in mine
I can feel the pounding of your heart against my chest
Echoing the hollowness of my own, of a rhythm that doesn’t exist
Every touch brings me goosebumps, a feeling of chills
Though the fire’s burning so hot and I can’t seem to fight it
Our deep hums of unsatisfied desires trembling
I’m dreading the walk to my car
Because there’s nothing I wanted more than to just be with you
One step outside and I can feel the temptation set in
It’s humid and the dampness from the storm settles upon my soles
The shadows embrace me as I sit under the streetlight
Taking a deep breath, I lean my head back and close my eyes
Picturing those nights we’d fall asleep together
Your arm draped over me with my head right beneath your chin
Your words on repeat, my mind drawing a blank
I’ve never felt this torn and the next thing I know,
I’m at my house, alone
With nothing but creaky stairs whose haunted footsteps follow me
Of a decision that was right, but felt so wrong
And now I’m just left with huge gaps of silence left to breathe,
No ink to fill those white pages
I am just left to ponder what could have been