Lurking in the shadow

How can i live with myself knowing i am the stub in another woman's marriage?

The lies and betrayal of this relationship are catching up with me.

I surely thought i loved this man.

Is this what love really is?

The idea of being in another's arm,

Knowing that i am not alone as i retire sleep.

The idea of having someone whisper in my ears,

The idea of eating the forbidden water....

"...stolen waters are sweet..." they say.

How do i end this? I am done with this...i tell myself everyday.

Each time i try to end it, he gives me a million reasons not to leave,

In the way he talks, the touch of his hands and the softness of his lips.

He tells he would never leave his wife for me or tell her about me.

I am still stupid enough to be with him, no matter how truthful he is.

Perhaps its the fear of the unknown, the fear of being alone.

I have been down this road before,

Different  avenues same destination...

"...you protect what you love.." They say.

Could he protect me?

On that unexpected fateful wee hours of the morning, 

She texted me, threatening my life...

Never a day have i felt unprotected...

I was just a toy of pleasure and display.

I still sleep in my bed wondering if this will happen again?

He tells me he loves me, and he would protect me.

As the lights are turned off, my eyes are sore

From the tears of reality, this is poison.